


coldest nights

by daisiesforjjunie



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Old Friends, Secret Crush, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, actually it's a lot of angst, idk you have to read!, long distance, minor cameos of all the other characters, or is it???, soobin is a cutie, the entire au is just made up of e-mails, there's a lot of reminiscing, yeonbin are friends, yeonjun pls open ur emails, yes im secretly a soobkyuist leave me alone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26839798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisiesforjjunie/pseuds/daisiesforjjunie
Summary: To: jjunjjun1999@yahoo.comFrom: soobinchoi01@gmail.comSubject: I miss you a lot todayHi Jun,the subject says it all. It's actually starting to really sink in. Why did you let me go?
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Ji Changmin | Q
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	1. Subject: Hello again!

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! 
> 
> welcome to my new au! i don't know how long this au will be, but for now it shall remain unknown heh. just a disclaimer, none of the characters here reflect the real life txt. this is entirely FICTION, so their characters here are FICTION as well. thank you for giving this au a chance! talk to me on twitter @AWAKETXT :) okie bye bye enjoyyyy!!!! <3 
> 
> a very sleepy and tired,  
> bri <3

**To:[jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com](mailto:jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com)**

**From:[soobinchoi01@gmail.com](mailto:soobinchoi01@gmail.com)**

**Subject: Hello again!**

Hi Jun, 

It’s currently 3am where I live. I didn’t think the weather could ever be this cold, but my god have I underestimated Canada. You thought Seoul was bad? Imagine living in a very low constant minus degree EVERY WINTER. THAT’S hard. 

I know, I know. You like the cold. But that’s because it gives you an excuse to dress all cool and slick, with your coats and whatnot. But Jun, if you were here, you wouldn’t give a shit about style. Seriously, it’s TOO cold here. 

Heh, who am I kidding? You’d make five layers of padded jackets cool. Because you’re you, Jun. 

Nothing much happens these days. It’s always the same pattern - go to uni, stay for a few lectures, rush to work then rush back home to finish my school stuff. It’s pretty repetitive and boring, but these emails keep me going every day. Although I do write them every day, it’s always just as exciting and fun every time I open my emails.

How have you been? I hope Seoul isn’t too cold either. Godddd, the things I’d do for jjampong right now. Oop, I think I drooled a little on my keyboard. I’m going to go and make some later… or order in. Yeah, I’ll probably do that instead hehe. You always tell me I suck at cooking, which is true. 

But nothing tastes like the jjampong from the building opposite your dorm, right? I’m so jealous.. You get to just go there whenever you want. (okay, maybe not ALWAYS but you know what I mean) 

I miss you a lot. I hope you know that. I still have a lot more to say to you, but let’s save those for the colder nights we’ll get. Besides, I need the motivation. And yeah, you’ll always be my number one motivation, Jun. 

Hope you’re good! 

A very cold and sleepy,

Binnie 


	2. Subject: Warm updates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today was colder than the last email, so I decided to write you so that you can feel the warmth from the kids’ stories too. My night is more peaceful, now that I know my friends are doing well. I hope I can say the same for you. I can see you’re having fun, but I want to know if you’re really okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> BAM! Double update >< it's just to get the ball rolling heh heh, I shall be back more tomorrow. Thank you for reading if you are! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Heck, if you wanna theorize where Jjunie is, then you're more than welcome to ;) talk to me on twitter @AWAKETXT! okei bye bye 
> 
> I'm going to bed now,  
> bri <3

**To:[jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com](mailto:jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com)**

**From:[soobinchoi01@gmail.com](mailto:soobinchoi01@gmail.com)**

**Subject: Warm updates**

Jjunie,

I Facetime’d Kai and Taehyun today. They’re doing good, really well actually… it’s been a few months since they started becoming roommates but they haven’t burned down the apartment yet so I deem it a success! Probably because Taehyun is the only one who knows how to say no to Hyuka heh heh. We were never quite good at it, right?

Like I told you before, Kai has been busking at random pubs and cafes. I have no idea how he balances the whole music teacher by day, busker by night, but dang. He does it all without a single complaint. He loves it actually. Come to think of it – I don’t think I’ve ever heard him complain.

I haven’t actually got to see him perform live just yet, but I’ll be back home in a few months so I’m hoping to catch him then. Taehyun sent me videos of him singing live and I don’t know why but I cried. Maybe because I miss him a lot and Kai is like my tiny baby overgrown brother.. or maybe because I’m so freaking proud of him? Do you remember when Kai was always just a shy round little ball of rice cake who couldn’t even say hello to us? Now he’s kicking ass at pubs and cafes. They grow up so fast…

Oh, I won’t leave Taehyun out of my little update. After sixty million years, I’m finally proud to announce that both him and Beomgyu have got their shit together. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are _**FINALLY**_ together. I have no idea why it took so long, but can you believe they both confessed to each other at THE playground?????? Yup, the same one we all used to hang out at. Taehyun spoke about it all with stars in his eyes. It was so adorable, I thought I’d have a heart attack.

So all is well with the kids back home. They all think of you.. you know that, right? We all do. Kai especially, he really misses you. 

Today was colder than the last email, so I decided to write you so that you can feel the warmth from the kids’ stories too. My night is more peaceful, now that I know my friends are doing well. I hope I can say the same for you. I can see you’re having fun, but I want to know if you’re really okay.

Missing you more every day,

Binnie


	3. Subject: Unfamiliar Canada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> it's Bri! Sorry for the delayed update, but I've been busy these days and I couldn't sleep so I decided to pump out this chap hehe. Things are a bit clearer now! Are your theories of where Jun is correct? Also - why is it always Soobin sending emails? :> hehehehe enjoy <3 
> 
> Still wide awake,   
> bri <3

To: jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com  
From: soobinchoi01@gmail.com  
Subject: Unfamiliar Canada 

Hello Jjunie,

I miss Korea a lot more today. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so out of place until I arrived here. It’s been a few months since I’ve moved but the loneliness is starting to get to me. Last night, Kai called me while he was out with Taegyu. (yes, I will be referring to Beomgyu and Taehyun as Taegyu from now on) They were out in Itaewon, just bar hopping and stuff.

It dawned on me then just how much I miss them and Korea in general. Back home, everything is easy and comfortable. The people I love are just a few minutes ride away and the food is warm and inviting. The weather may be cruel sometimes but at least it’s familiar.

Everything here is foreign. The language is different, the food is different, and the way people live is different. I thought I’d get used to it but nope. Still the same awkward Soobin.

My whole ‘I miss Korea’ train of thought got me thinking, so I decided to look up some Korean communities or something in Winnipeg. Turns out, there’s a little Korean restaurant not far from where I live and I heard that’s where most Korean people like to go to. I’ll drop by after my classes tomorrow, just to try and get back some kind of familiarity.

Oh yeah, while Kai was on the call with me, they all saw you. Well not you you but they saw you on those huge screens above the malls? You know what I mean, right? Kai sent me a video of it and damn, people PAY for YOU to appear on those large screens. Sometimes I forget how loved you are, until I see stuff like that.

As usual, I wonder how you are. My mum saw you on TV the other day and she texted me, asking when you’d come over and have dinner with my family again. She misses you! You are still her favorite out of all the kids hehe. I don’t know if you know, but I have a nephew now. You’d love him, he’s adorable.

Now and then, I like to look you up just to see how you’re doing. You seem to be doing good, I can’t believe you wore THAT coat to the airport.. I remember telling you that red shiny furry jackets were not it, but you still got it. Good thing you did, you looked so cool.

I miss you very much. I’ll think of you when I go and eat some jjamppong tomorrow. I’ll write you again soon with a full review of the restaurant. Stay safe, Jun.

Shivering,

Binnie


	4. Subject: Jjam-Jjampong Restaurant Review

**To: jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com**   
**From:[soobinchoi01@gmail.com](mailto:soobinchoi01@gmail.com)**   
**Subject: Jjam-Jjampong Restaurant Review**

Jjun-Jjunie,

I think I just ascended to heaven. I wish I said I was exaggerating but no, Jun, the food I had just now was AMAZING????????????? I’m still in shock?? I don’t think I’ve ever eaten jjampong THAT good oh my god. It was so good and the restaurant was so cute too. So small and homey.. it really reminded me of home. I wish you could try it.

Tonight, I was walking past a music store when I saw something quite amazing. It was you. Your big smiling face plastered all over the huge display behind the glass windows. Well, it was you and your group.

I didn’t know you have yellow hair.. you look like a little highlighter hehe. Some kids were taking photos in front of your posters too, which was adorable. Oh, I checked out your new music video. I really liked the song! I couldn’t help but relate a bit to the lyrics.

Nevertheless, you looked good. Watched a few of those interviews you did as well. You looked happy and I’m really really glad about that. I know when you’re faking it but hey, you either fooled me or you’re genuinely doing well. Either way, I hope you know I’m proud of you. Congrats on the comeback! As always, I’ll be supporting everything you do.

I’m actually writing this email outside.. although it’s too cold for anyone to do anything out of here. Honestly, I’ve been feeling a little blue today. I thought seeing you would make me feel glad, but there’s this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind. You don’t read these emails anyways so I’ll just lay it all out on the table.

I’m glad that you’re doing well, I really am. But.. I didn’t imagine you reaching all your dreams without me. I know it sounds selfish and horrible and naïve, but I thought we were going to be celebrating the wins in our lives together forever. Instead, I walked out on that and these days, I’ve been thinking a lot about that.

At least you’re happy now. Which is good. I know you’ve been waiting your entire life to reach where you are now.

I was going to say I miss you, but I also realized that I don’t just miss you – but everything we used to do together. I miss window shopping with you (tho I hated it), I miss eating ramen at convenience stores, I miss going to karaoke with you, I miss our gaming nights, I miss our late night walks. I miss it all. Especially you.

The snow outside is pretty light today. As I’m writing this, I’m also watching the snowflakes fall around me. It’s all very pretty actually. You’d love the view. I know you would.

Did you know no snowflake looks the exact same? They’re all different, but when you see them from afar, they look just as beautiful as the other snowflakes. At least, that’s what I read once as a kid.

I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Hope you have a good day, Jjunie.

Stay warm,

Soobinie


	5. Subject: Cronuts… Enough Said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! uhhhhh okay apologies for the very very very very late update but hey, i am back for now hehe. i saw someone was reading this au all of a sudden so i thought, eh why not update it! and here i am. i'm committed to finishing this okie lmaooo anyways yes uh if u noticed i added another character, it's because i added in changmin from the boyz! i've kind of been solo stanning him bc i think he's super cute and watching his videos makes me happy lmao.. pls dont cancel me i just don't have time to stan the whole group LOLOL anyways im rambling skldfjlkdsjfsd yes hello hi uh follow me on twt @cyjpopper if u want! and check out my pinned tweet huhuuhuhhuu isnt it cool............ okie hehe that's all bye bye i'll see yall v soon

**To: jjunjjun1999@yahoo.com**   
**From:[soobinchoi01@gmail.com](mailto:soobinchoi01@gmail.com)**   
**Subject: Cronuts…** **Eno** **ugh** **Said**

Hello Jun!

Not that you’d notice, but I’m sorry I missed a few of my e-mails for the past few days. A lot actually happened since the last time I sent you something. Remember the Jjampon restaurant I went to? Apparently, a guy who goes to the same uni as me works there too.. and he’s the son of the ahjumma who made my food!

Since the food was SOoOooOoOoOoo GOOD, I had to go back for seconds right? So I went to the same place the day after I sent you my last e-mail.. and there he was! The first time I went, another older lady served me. But this time, it was the guy.

His name is Changmin and he’s pretty cool. He’s only two years older than me and he’s majoring in Art History. He has this really weird but endearing love for horror movies, which kinda threw me off at first but he eventually got me into it now. I don’t have a picture of him but he’s a tiny bit shorter than me and he has dark hair and he always has this very infectious smile. Anyways, he’s really cool AND he speaks Korean, which is even cooler. I finally can talk to someone without having to think and overthink.

You know how shy I am.. so obviously I didn’t approach him. While he was serving me my food, he saw me wearing a hoodie from our university and asked me if I went there. I said yeah and that’s kind of how it all started.

Ever since then, I’ve been going back to the restaurant nearly everyday. The food is too good, you know???

Today will be a little bit different though. We’re going to see this new horror movie together. (I don’t even know what we’re seeing but Changmin insisted so eh why not) And thennnn we’re going to get these amazing cronuts from this bakery near my dorm. He’s never had them before, but just like how he put me onto horror movies, I’ll get him addicted to cronuts.

Have you ever had cronuts before, hyung? They’re incredible.. like so mind-blowingly good I nearly cried when I ate one for the first time.

I hope you’re doing okay. I usually look you up on Google and Naver sometimes to see what you’re up to, but I didn’t do it for the past few days. Turns out you went on Running Man? That must’ve been so fun T^T I remember we used to watch that together on your bunk bed during your trainee days. How was meeting Kwangsoo in real life?? I’m so jealous of you.

I’ve got to go and get ready now to meet Changmin. I’ll write you again soon! 😊

Buzzing with excitement,

Bin


End file.
